Mind Games & Moral Grey Zones: Professor X and the Ethics of Telepathy
Unmasking the Mutant Messiah: When the Dream Becomes a Nightmare
Welcome back to Practical Politics Unplugged—the series where we lovingly dismantle your favorite superheroes, childhood icons, and the morally compromised mascots of late-stage capitalism. If you missed Part 1, where we exposed Batman as less of a noble guardian and more of a billionaire cosplaying as justice, you might want to double back. Spoiler alert: Alfred needs a union.
This week, we’re rolling out the psychic red carpet for none other than the Marvel Universe’s resident brain-bender: Professor Charles Xavier, aka Professor X. Yes, the dude in the floating wheelchair with the soothing voice and an obsession with peaceful coexistence. A man who can literally read minds but somehow never figured out that Cyclops is emotionally constipated.
The Saintly Scholar or the Cerebral Puppeteer?
Professor X has long been held up as the moral compass of mutantkind, a sort of bald, telepathic Dumbledore advocating for mutant-human harmony. But pull back the curtain on this chrome-domed savior, and you’ll find not a wise mentor but a man who's practically binge-watched Machiavelli’s masterclass on manipulation. Honestly, if Charles Xavier had a LinkedIn, it’d read: “Founder, School for Gifted Youngsters / Professional Gaslighter / Secret Illuminati Member.”
Let’s be real: Professor X may preach peace, but he practices puppetry. Need someone to go berserker for your cause? Just psychic-clap their mental hard drive like he did to Wolverine. Have a teenage student developing crushes and catastrophic trauma simultaneously? Just lobotomize that emotional baggage into a dream journal.
The School for Gifted Youngsters... and Unwitting Soldiers
Let’s talk about that school. Officially, it’s a safe haven for mutant youth. Unofficially, it’s a child soldier training camp with better branding. Imagine sending your kid to boarding school and finding out their electives include “Advanced Danger Room Deathmatch” and “Ethics of Laser Vision (Spoiler: There Are None).”
Xavier’s mentorship often reads like a dystopian TED Talk: “What if trauma was a curriculum?” Remember, he recruited kids with dangerous, barely controlled powers—and instead of focusing on therapy and self-actualization, he slapped them in matching uniforms and sent them to punch Magneto in the face. It’s basically X-Men: Hogwarts for High-Stakes PTSD.
The Illuminati and the Ethics of Secrecy
Oh, and did we mention he’s in the Illuminati? Not the Beyoncé one—although honestly, that would have been better. No, we’re talking about Marvel’s Illuminati: a secret cabal of egotistical geniuses including Iron Man, Black Panther, Reed Richards, Black Bolt, Doctor Strange, Namor, and Captain America until Xavier decided to mind-wipe him because well Cap has a conscience. Basically, it’s Mensa for Men Who’ve Never Heard of Therapy.
Xavier regularly shared secrets about the X-Men with this brain trust, like a nosy aunt who just had to tell the neighbors your business. “Oh, you didn’t want Tony Stark knowing about Krakoa’s resurrection protocols? Too late, I cc’d him and Galactus.”
The Krakoa Conundrum
Let’s get to the juicy part: Krakoa. The promised land. The Beyoncé-renaissance-tour of mutantdom. Created by Xavier, Magneto, and Moira MacTaggert, Krakoa was supposed to be the culmination of Xavier’s dream—a mutant utopia, a sovereign nation where mutants could thrive in peace. So why does it feel like Wakanda meets Big Brother?
Krakoa is exclusive. Like SoHo House with superpowers. Humans aren’t allowed unless invited, which is a weird flex from the guy who’s been preaching integration since 1963. It’s like if Dr. King had decided “You know what, separate but equal sounds kinda chill now.”
And Xavier? He’s not exactly running town halls. He’s making decisions behind a silver mask, literally. If the dream was unity, Krakoa is the Applebee’s of hypocrisy: all flash, no substance, and you still feel empty afterward.
Xavier: Father of the Year (Please No)
Then there’s his parenting résumé—spoiler: it’s giving absentee. Turns out Professor X had a son, Legion, a troubled omega-level mutant with more personalities than a soap opera finale. Instead of stepping up, Xavier ghosted harder than a Tinder date with commitment issues. And when he did show up, he was like, “Hey son, I know you're mentally fractured and all, but have you considered weaponizing that for the cause?”
That’s right—Xavier, the guy who can walk through your emotional baggage like an open house, never extended his supposed compassion to his own flesh and blood. It’s almost poetic if it weren’t so depressingly consistent.
Romance, Retcons, and Real Creep Energy
Oh, and can we talk about Jean Grey? In X-Men #1 (1963), Xavier has the audacity to think about being in love with her—a literal teenager under his tutelage. Ew. The man has access to everyone’s thoughts and still couldn’t mentally slap himself into better judgment? Xavier’s biggest power isn’t telepathy—it’s dodging accountability.
And then there’s the Changeling debacle. Xavier literally faked his own death, had a shape-shifter impersonate him, and didn’t tell his students until after the guy died. Imagine faking your death for a vacation, then gaslighting your entire friend group when you come back: “I was gone for your safety.” Please. That’s not strategy. That’s a Netflix true crime documentary waiting to happen.
The Xavier Protocols & the Mindwipe Menagerie
Still not convinced? Enter: the Xavier Protocols. A handy-dandy list of how to defeat every X-Man, just in case he needed to neutralize them like rogue Wi-Fi routers. This isn’t foresight—it’s premeditated betrayal. The cherry on top? He knew the Danger Room’s AI was sentient and just… enslaved it anyway. Professor X out here making iRobot look like a Pixar film.
Oh, and when a bunch of X-Men got yeeted by Krakoa in an earlier mission, what did Charles do? Mindwiped everyone so they wouldn’t remember them. Straight-up “Men in Black” memory erasure, only instead of protecting national security, it was about covering up his oopsie.
Final Thoughts: Dream Deferred
Professor X’s dream was always noble on the surface. Equality. Coexistence. Understanding. But dreams without integrity become delusions, and Xavier has a Ph.D. in self-delusion. As the Quiet Council crumbles and Orchis closes in, Xavier isn’t the visionary—we’re seeing the endgame of a man who thought mind control was mentorship.
He may have started with good intentions, but as Harvey Dent said in The Dark Knight: “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
Well, Charles? The mirror’s calling. And buddy—you’ve been the villain for a while now.
Stay tuned for Part 3, where we keep roasting your comic book faves until the truth burns hotter than Phoenix Force drama. Same Unplugged Time, Same Unplugged Channel.